Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
