we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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