I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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