my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
