So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
