I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
