perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
This toilet bowl is my home.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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