so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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