you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize