My friends, they love my intelligence
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
