Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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