and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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