the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize