love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
