someone owes me an orgasm
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
