Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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