At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
