oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
