I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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