Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
