But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
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His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
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He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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