I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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