do herpes really smell.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
