Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
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I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
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Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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