They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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