Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
