Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
