Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
