Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
