OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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