why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize