found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
