It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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