I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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