Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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