is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
