my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
