Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
