So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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