Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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