I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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