Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
