I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
