Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
