hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
