I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
