Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize