My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
