you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
