I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
