And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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