Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
