12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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