i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She's the barista slut.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
