the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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