First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize